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The original Housewives, as in the Desperate ones, were back tonight for a whole new season of lying, backstabbing, stalking as well as the theme of tonight’s opener, “Sin in the Suburbs.”

When we last saw Wisteria Lane, Bree and Carl, Susan’s ex-husband and Bree’s divorce lawyer were getting hot and heavy, Lynette found out she was pregnant yet again, Gaby and Carlos had been duped into taking in Carlos’ sexpot, troublemaking niece and Mike was standing at the altar next to either Susan or Katherine about to say ‘I do.”

Now honestly…was anyone surprised it was Susan who Mike decided to hitch his wagon to? Poor Katherine (Dana Delaney) who started off as such a strong, delightfully bitchy character just a few seasons ago, spent last season relegated to moping about Bree and wearing tacky little scarves around her neck.

Unfortunately, she was stuck wearing yet another tacky little scarf around her neck in this episode, but she did show a little fire when faced with Susan stealing her man (which was technically Susan’s man to begin with, but anyway).

In vintage “Desperate Housewives” fashion, tonight’s action started with Susan and Mike’s wedding before flashing back eight weeks prior. Bree and Carl were pawing at each other in his office and made a date to meet up at a hotel so that Bree doesn’t have to do the down and dirty on the same couch where Carl has made other conquests.

They later wind up at a roach motel and a repulsed Bree refuses to get into a bed with threadbare sheets that reek of industrial bleach. So, off Bree and Carl go to buy new sheets and comforters for their romp. Carl finally realizes Bree has no intention of hopping in the sack with him and tells her to stop being a good girl and start being happy.

Later, after a fight with Orson, Bree decides to throw caution to the wind and tells Carl to meet her later at the roach motel. Of course, Bree being Bree, she’s already booked the room and changed the sheets.

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